Semi-Finals in China + Wonder Pets

September 24, 2007 by wilmington.

ITEM #1
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If you have not been part of the phenomenon that is “The Wonder Pets” on Nick, Jr. and/or
Noggin, you are unbelievably uncool (perhaps terminally so).

It’s a simple premise, one that has been around since the time of Shakespeare: the class pets of a kindergarten class - a guinea pig, a turtle, and a baby duck - are really a crack squad of animal rescue experts. As soon as the kids and teacher leave for the day, an international hotline phone (cleverly disguised as a tin can with a string attached) rings to alert the team that “an animal’s in trouble somewhere.”

The show is almost through-composed like an opera - complete with alternating sections of recitative and arias. “Linny” the guinea pig is the leader and most experienced, “Tuck” the turtle is the quietly inscrutable moderating force, while “Ming-Ming” the duckling is the boldly emotional comic relief who speaks her mind despite a pronounced speech impediment (”This is seewious!”).

The show sets up repeated patterns and formulas (and cleverly varies them, which 3+ year-olds love) and varies musical styles for each animal rescue: a baby cow stuck in a tree AND threatened by a twister in Oklahoma, a baby hedgehog trapped in a hedge in London, a baby mouse trapped in a saxophone (I’m not making this up), and even a baby swan who doesn’t know how to dance.

Like all great shows for kids, “Wonder Pets” has stuff to crack up parents. The rhymes, half-puns, and musical allusions are very clever. Plus, there’s always the absurd moment when you realize that you are entranced while watching a singing guinea pig, turtle, and duckling rescue a baby chimp who got lost in space (in a Gemini-era space capsule!). That same episode has one of the greatest moments (alongside the time Ming-Ming is the animal they have to rescue):

Linny (singing after answering the phone): It’s a bay-bee chi-imp, / lost out in spa-ace

Ming-Ming (singing): This is seewious!

-pause - music stops -
Tuck: Wait a minute, Linny. I thought chimps lived in forests or jungles!

Linny (singing ): Use - ually, they do!…but some-times theygetsentuptospace!

And that’s it. No other explanation. Yes, chimps do live in forests or jungles (educational point) but, you know, sometimes they get sent up to space. True. And they’re off!

The message of these caped and capped wonderheroes: “What’s gonna work? TEAM-WORK!” [up a minor 3rd] “What’s gonna work?! TEAM-WORK!”

Imagine when Barney was the only thing going…we’ve got it good, fellow parents.

ITEM #2
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Ok. Umm…yeah. I guess I did say that the Germany v. N.Korea game could be one of the great women’s soccer games of all time. And though I DID say “if both teams are on form” I should also have added “as long as N.Korea doesn’t suddenly decide to play nothing like the way they played the U.S.”

Germany won 3-0 because N.Korea played tentatively, slowly, and only showed flashes of aggression. At about 20 minutes into the 1st half, N.Korea seemes to remember who they were and put some real pressure together - fast 1 and 2-touch passing, great movement off the ball, purposeful runs, and highly aggressive pressure every time a German touched the ball.
In short, they played for a few minutes as they played the U.S. for 93 minutes.

They looked afraid of the Germans and therefore made the Germans look better than they were actually playing. Then the Germans realized how much time they had on the ball…and they stepped up to be as good as they can be. Scary. Maybe the N.Koreans were fired up vs. the Americans by some extra motivation? Maybe their style of play wore them out too soon? Who knows.

IF IF IF Germany plays the U.S. in the Final, Germany will have gotten there by playing weak or off-form teams the whole way. The U.S. had to play the good and fresh N.Koreans, traditional power Sweden, much-improved bruisers Nigeria, the best team England have ever fielded, and Brazil - the most on-form, most-improved, most-skilled, star-powered team in the world. Strangely, the same thing happened when the brackets were assigned LAST World Cup: Germany has a cakewalk until they play the U.S.

Not saying there’s a conspiracy, but I believe Oliver Stone is in talks with Michael Moore and Algore (who wore his special tin-foil hat to the meeting) about a movie treatment. At the end of the day, as Julie Foudy said, you have to beat everybody anyway. As this World Cup has shown - to the 3 or 4 other people watching along with me - gone are the days when you should be shocked to find that the US lost.

Final thought - Australia was robbed in their loss to Brazil. The PK given to Brazil was based on a foul outside the box. An Australian player suffered an obvious foul - pushed from behind in an open box, for God’s sake! - just before time ran out…no PK….and Algore just reminded me that the replay people refused to show that foul despite the fact that any, I mean ANY, apparent contact in the box is always shown on replay 5 or 6 times within seconds of the play.
I’m just sayin…

THURSDAY Morning: ESPN2 - U.S.A. vs. Brazil
(OK, this one really COULD be the greatest women’s soccer game ever played. Really.)

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